Today’s post is supposed to be a letter to someone who is going “through the worst of times” but I couldn’t think of anyone to fit that category. There are plenty of people I don’t know who are going through horrible times, but letters are best when personal. There are quite a few people (including myself) who are mourning the death of my former classmate (RIP Frenchy♥) but I’d really rather not think about him right now if that’s possible. So tonight’s post is about my Driving Pet Peeves!
Driving Pet Peeves
Tips, Tricks, and Friendly Reminders for Annoying Drivers
Ø Thank you so very much for giving me the right of way sir, but I do not trust you enough to take it. I’m inclined to believe that as soon as I take the right of way you will change your mind and there will be an accident. I also believe that when the cops show up you will deny signaling to me to take the right of way, and I will more or less be screwed.
Ø I AM IN A STANDARD! WE ARE STOPPED ON A HILL! Get off my ass. I will roll back at least two or three feet between releasing the break and actually pulling forward. Honking at me when you notice this will not help matters. You’re on my ass, your fault.
Ø Hey dude, since you’re not passing anyone would you mind getting the hell out of the passing lane? Kthnx.
Ø It’s called a turn signal. Use it.
Ø Do you find yourself unable to maintain a constant speed? Don’t worry. There’s cruise control for that. No one ever needs to know.
Ø See this diagram? It’s simple. If you’re on W Main Street follow these directions:
If you are red: Left blinker.
If you are blue: Right blinker.
If you are yellow: No Blinker. You are staying on the straightest path possible.
Ø Hey buddy! You’re merging in? cool, cool, I’m already on the highway. That means I have the right of way.
Ø Hey! Now you’re changing lanes? I’m already in THIS lane. I still have the right of way.
Ø Hey road conditions are great today! No cops either! Drive the damn speed limit. 10 under is at least 15 under my usual speed on this road.
Ø AHHH HIGH BEAMS! >CRASH< let’s avoid this. I turn mine off when I see you, I expect the same courtesy.
Ø You’re close enough that I can’t see your headlights in my rearview? Back off before I break check you. If you’re behind me and you hit me it’s automatically your fault.
Ø You are only driving one car. You only get one lane. Pick one.
Ø Let me pass you. Leap frog is a game that should be left on the playground.
Ø Coppa coppa crime sto—HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE HOW FAST HE WAS GOING? Just because you’re in a cruiser and wear a badge doesn’t mean you can drive 90 in a 40. At least turn on your blues.
Ø See that cruiser/ambulance/fire truck with the sirens and the lights? Slow down and get out of their way. I don’t care if you’re late to your movie, they can’t be late to that call.
Ø Is that green light a left arrow? No? It’s a circle? That means people going straight have the right of way. Lefties wait. Left turns always yield to straight. Unless a sign says otherwise.
Ø I won’t judge you if it takes you multiple tries to park correctly. I will, however, judge you for taking up multiple spots.
Ø Red light? Right turn?
o Yield to pedestrians and cars
o Check for sign prohibiting right on red
o Make sure you’re not in NYC (where right on red is prohibited)
o GO!
Ø When passing me please make sure that you can see my WHOLE car in your rearview mirror before returning to my lane. Cutting off is not nice.
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