30 Letters in 30 Days: Day Sixteen- Someone who lives out of state

Dear Shawn,

        It’s crazy to think that with a history like ours we are still so close. We dated for nine months, lost our virginities together, and now we’re long distance best friends who see each other every three or so years. A lot of people would hear that kind of history and be like O.o but for me I can’t imagine anything different. You’re the guy I tell my secrets to, one of the only ones I trust other than Douglas. I can’t wait for you to come home for another visit so you can meet him. Having you in my life has always been an important test for potential boyfriends, I simply tell them that I’m best friends with my first love who I lost my virginity to, and look for a reaction. If I think he might have issues with that, he’s off the list. You’re the one I tell important things to before I decide if I really mean it or not. When I was talking about changing majors I sent you a text from my night class, you were so supportive. You’re ALWAYS so supportive, you don’t judge my decisions and encourage me to do everything and anything that could potentially shock the pants off of people. It’s great knowing you always have my back.

Hoping to see you this summer maybe? Yes.

-your favorite exgirlfriend

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day Fifteen- The persoon I miss most

Dear Poppa,

          I miss you more than words can say. I miss the smell of your Old Spice and the way you’d tap your beer can, from the time I could walk I knew that meant you needed a fresh one. I miss the way you looked at Mammie. I miss hearing stories about your childhood growing up with 17 brothers and sisters, the Navy, and all the lessons you’d learned in your life. I miss the way your stubble would scratch my cheek when I went to give you a kiss, the way everyone snapped to attention when you raised your voice, it was such a rarity we always knew it must be important.

          I must be thankful to whoever is in charge of this universe for giving us time to say goodbye to you. Losing you was so painful but I cherish the fact that I was able to sit with you, your eyes communicating words you could no longer say. Having those last days to tell you how much I love you and to memorize the feel of your hand in mine was nothing short of a blessing.

          It’s so hard without you here. Aunt Jane doesn’t do family holidays anymore, because they just remind her that you’re gone, you were her very best friend. Gabe is terrified of the number 77, the date September 28th, and the word cancer. It’s hard to believe that another one of his great grandfathers died exactly a year after you, at the same age you were when you passed, and also had cancer. It has been hard on everyone, but like always it is you that keeps us together. You taught us all the importance of family and love.

Missing you quite terribly,

The little one

30 Letters in 30 Days: Day Fourteen- Someone who deserves a big "Fuck you!"

Today's real topic "someone you drifted away from" seemed a little...boring.I knew exactly who I'd write it to, but it would mainly say "I shouldn't bitch at you since I've been putting in no effort either, but we should hang out sometime" which seems boring and lame. Soooo I decided to post a letter to someone who I kinda wanna kick in the balls :)

Dear El,

        I find myself wondering, have you always been this person? Was there a sudden shift in your personality or have you always been so messed up? Did I somehow manage to not notice what an enormous douche you are? I’ve known you my entire life, how did I miss it?

        I never noticed how as soon as you got a girlfriend you would all but disappear. I never noticed that after these “serious relationships” with girls you’d refer to as “the wife” ended you didn’t even seem a little sad. And since I never really knew your girlfriends well I always believed you when you’d go on and on about what psychos they were.

        I believed you when you said the reason you went *poof* during your relationship with M was because she was so clingy. I believed you when you told me that after the breakup she psycho stalked you. Then she started dating J and I had to actually get to know her and hang out with her. I realized that although she is pretty clingy, she’s not nearly as psychotic as you made her out to be. After talking to her about you I realized she didn’t “stalk” you, she was just a typical teenage girl who got dumped by her first boyfriend and wanted to know why.

        And I probably should have noticed that the only time you decided to be a big part of my life happened to always be when my life was a mess and I could honestly be considered a train wreck. I’m not saying people shouldn’t be there for a friend when they’re in need, but that was the ONLY time you were ever there for me. There are two kinds of friends in the world: the ones who are always there when things go wrong, and the ones that are always there.

        I realized recently after pondering that you enjoy the drama. You choose overly dramatic friends, or friends that hate each other, or friends that have a lot of drama going on because you love it. I’ll admit you don’t start drama, but you sure as shit add fuel to the fire and keep it damn close.

        I’m not even going to get into the whole L thing, other than to say that you are fucking scum and I’m glad she’s done with you. I barely talked to one of my best friends for like 6 months because of your hyperpossessive ass.

So yeah, FUCK YOU.